The statement "change or die" is as harsh as reality gets. "Change your diet and lifestyle or the next heart attack will kill you." Is that statement one of harsh reality or one that is incredibly caring? Maybe it’s both. In the business book "Change or Die" the author Alan Deutschman says your answer doesn't matter. Most people will not change their lifestyle or diet no matter the intent behind the statement change or die.
Deutschman looks at three different groups of people that were considered unchangeable. The first group was heart patients. Statistically only 1 out of 10 heart patients make the lifelong changes needed for long-term health. In 1993 under the leadership of Dr. Dean Ornish 194 heart patients made the lifelong changes needed for heart health at the rate of nearly 80%. What was the difference?
Mimi Silbert at the Delancey Street program saw nearly the same results with hardened criminals labeled as psychopaths. The people at the Delancey Street program had been in and out of prison multiple times. The third group is the GM plant in Fremont California. In the 1980s the cars produced at this plant averaged more than 40 defects per car. This plant was considered the most unruly of all the GM plants. After the plant closed Toyota reopened the plant with the very same workers because of the insistence of the UAW. Under a new management style the once unruly employees produced cars with no defects. What was the difference?
Three words: Relate-Repeat-Reframe.
Here is what Deutschman writes about these three words:
The first key to change- Relate
"You form a new, emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope. If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider "hopeless," you need the influence of seemingly "unreasonable" people to restore your hope-to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change. This is an act of persuasion -- really, it's "selling." The leader or community has to sell you on yourself and make you believe you have the ability to change. They have to sell you on themselves as your partners, mentors, role models, or source of new knowledge. And they have to sell you on the specific methods or strategies that they will employ."
The second key to change-Repeat
"The new relationship helps you learn, practice and master the new habits and skills that you will need. It takes a lot of repetition over time before new patterns of behavior become automatic and seem natural -- until you act the new way without even thinking about it. It helps tremendously to have a good teacher, coach, or mentor to give you guidance, encouragement, and direction along the way. Change doesn't involve just "selling"; it requires "training."
The third key to change-Reframe
"The new relationship helps you learn new ways of thinking about your situation and your life. Ultimately, you look at the world in a way that would have been so foreign to you that it wouldn't have made any sense before you change."
We have all seen the guy with the bullhorn telling the crowds they must believe in Jesus or they will spend eternity in hell. Repent or die! Change or die! The dechurched have heard the message of repentance and forgiveness. They have heard all the facts as well as the messages of fear, but these inactive do not return to our congregations. The unchurched want nothing to do with fear or the facts as they see the message of the church as irrelevant. Even Christian believers struggle to see significant changes in how they live their lives to be more like Christ. Christians have as many divorces, abortions and are as materialistic as non-Christians.
What can we learn from these three words: Relate-Repeat-Reframe?
In the gospel of Mark Jesus begins his ministry with these words, "the time is fulfilled and the kingdom of God has come near, repent and believe in the good news." Immediately after saying those words Jesus begins to relate with 12 disciples, begins three years of repeating this message, and through his life, death, and resurrection and the power of the Holy Spirit these men's lives are reframed and changed as they look at the world in a way that would have been so foreign to them and would have made no sense to them when Jesus first uttered those words, "repent and believe in the good news."
What can we learn from a book like this and how does it apply to our context? I think it could be argued that the author discovered through the back door some biblical principles.
Relate-Repeat-Reframe
How can we apply these principles as we seek:
Let's begin a conversation. Yes I will change and become attentive to my blog.